HEAVEN ABOVE

Zebediah was crossing Main Street, headed towards Harvest House Pentecostal Church when the blue sedan suddenly knocked him over. He screamed once, and then fell face down, looking very dead. A few seconds later, he woke up in a strange place, and found himself looking at a familiar face.

    “Welcome, son.” The man said, a smile spreading on his lips. “Well, I thought you’d never come. You had become too clumsy in the last days, and I knew your days were numbered.”

 Zebediah sat up and rubbed his eyes with his fists, confused. He could not tell where he was, but there was a surreal feeling about the whole place.

  “Are you my father? And are you dead?” he asked, rubbing his throbbing head. He then noticed that the wounds on his body had disappeared. He had thought that after the accident, there surely should be some serious wounds on his body. He stared at the man, his forehead creased slightly.

The man smiled. “No, my son. I cannot die. You were on my way to consult me, remember?” Zebediah nodded, and he couldn’t explain why he had nodded.

   “But, then it means…I’m also…the church…” began Zebediah, the jigsaw pieces falling into place.

The man nodded. “Yes Zebediah. I know what you wanted to tell me.”

Zebediah stood up. The place was very white, and he stood deep into it, like one does when he sinks into snow. He could not see his feet at all. The man smiled at him. He told Zebediah to follow him. “For I have a lot of things I want to bestow into thy heart.” He said.

Zebediah obeyed. He rushed up to him. “Are you my father? He disappeared when I was fifteen, and I have never seen him since.”

The man shook his head. “There is no one else here but you.”

  “And me.” Zebediah said.

   “Yes, you. Thought that was obvious.” The man said. “Do you know why I look like your father who left you when you were fifteen and have never seen him since?”

 Zebediah shook his head. “I would like to know though, if you are my father who left me fifteen years ago and I have never seen since. If you’re not my father, that is. Are you not?”

   “That I’m not, thank God.” The man assured him, and then he winked knowingly. “Oh, I cannot thank God. You see, that would be quite awkward.”

   “Why?”

The man beckoned with a smile. “You still can’t tell who I am?”

   “Yes, I still can’t tell who you are.” Replied Zebediah.

The man smiled a wondrous smile that made Zebediah’s heart melt. The man went on and said, “You see, I am not just any other person. Yes I’ve been called many names, but let me give you ones I’m famously known by. Some call me The Creator. Some say I’m The Almighty. Some call me The One, some The Savior of Mankind, The Redeemer, the Forgiver of Sins, The Alpha and Omega, The Lord of Lords, The Holy Father, The Lord of Hosts, and The King of Kings. That list of names is endless, my son. In simpler terms, I am the one you humans like to call, God.”

Zebediah stopped silently as some air managed to escape out of his lungs faster than he had anticipated. “You’re…God? The One, The Father, The Maker, The Creator, The Supreme Judge, The Handler of The Book Of Life?”

God smiled. “Guilty as charged, son. If that’s how you want to put it, then yes, I’m indeed The Creator, The Maker of Adam and Eve, mind you.”

Zebediah whistled. “How so”

God smiled. “I will quote from the Book. ‘...as it is written in, some will not believe me at first...’ “He said.

   “Then am I dead?” asked Zebediah, pinching his arm.

   “Yes. Yes I’m afraid your are very dead, Zebediah, son of Zelob Ndlovu, the man who disappeared when you were fifteen and you have never seen him since. Mind you, if you’re still stupid enough not to look at both sides of the road when you cross it, this is where you will land. I thought I made sure that your mother took you to kindergarten so you would learn all these simple things.”

Zebediah was lost for words. “So this is heaven?” he asked, picking up more speed. They were passing a stream that had appeared from nowhere. God shook his head.

   “Unfortunately not. You see, you have put me in a very difficult position, Zebediah, son of Zelob Ndlovu, the man who disappeared when you were fifteen and you have never seen him since. I know that you were going to confess your sins today. And still, you were going to steal that woman’s purse tomorrow. I am stuck at which decision to make. It’s a tough case as it is.”

   “So then, sir, I’m not in heaven?”  continued Zebediah, relishing a scenic view around him. He pinched his arm again. The pain was very imminent.

   “And neither are you in hell.” God replied in his Godly soft voice. “You, see, this place here, I like to call it The Intermediary. I sort of created when Adam fooled around with Eve. This is where I put the people that I’m a little confused on. It’s my little world of thought. I created it after I was through with earth. On the eighth day.” God said.

Zebediah smiled. “Ok. And how about the father look? Why do you choose to look like my father? Explain. If you’re who you are, Perform a miracle and prove who you are by changing to look like me.”

   “Quite demanding, I would say.” replied God in a soft voice. “Remember, thou shalt not tempt the Lord your God.”

   “Didn’t mean to offend you, dear God.” Zebediah quickly said, but was astounded when he turned around and found himself facing himself. God quickly changed back to look like Zebediah’s father again.

   “Son, I cannot be offended.” He explained. “The thing is I will know that you want to offend by me before you do, you see? You ask about the father image, why I chose to look like him? Look, you always listened to him, remember?” God said, his brow lines rising and falling. “So I thought it would be a pretty good idea to look like him for a moment. I never liked his hair though.” He said, ruffling through the dreadlocks. “Fancy creating the man to have nice matted hair, and then he disobeys and twists his hair into something I have yet to pronounce properly.”

   “He was a Rasta, my father.” Zebediah said. “I thought Peter and the rest of the crew all had long hair.”

   “It wasn’t as unkempt as this.” God replied, feeling the dread locked hair on his head. “Would you mind if I look like someone else?”

   “No stress, God.” replied Zebediah. There was a flash, and then an old man was in the place of his father. Zebediah knew him at once. “Old John, you goddamn sonofabitch…”

God put up his hand. “Zebediah! That has always been your problem! Remember son, no swearing, the Lord’s name shall not be used in vain, brethren. So is this better?”

   “Same thing to me. I used to see this guy on my way to school. We used to kick him around. Him and his dirty old dog. When did he die?”

God smiled. “That was me all along, playing the beggar. The dog, it was done by Gabriel. He was quite tormented by what you did. But he’s an angel, and what can an angel do in such a circumstance.”

Zebediah smiled. “Forgive?”

   “Right! Precisely! It is such a tedious job being an angel. But I hired him for it. By the way, they can sing, these people! And most people don’t even know about my angels’ unique talent!” God exclaimed. “Well, before I move you to hell, or heaven, I will need you to give me an update on what you’ve been up to.”

Zebediah stiffened. “You mean there won’t be the opening of the Book of Life?”

God shook his head profusely. “Not in this case, I’m afraid no. You must prove to me why I should take you to heaven and why not to hell.”

   “Do I need to remember all the good things that I did?”

The King of Kings nodded. “Yes brethren. You must remember everything. Good and bad. Remember that my people are destroyed by lack of knowledge, and good memory if I can add to the famous line that I wrote.”

Zebediah thought for a while. “Good stuff first?”

God nodded slowly. “Yes my dear son. Better that way for you. Although I’m very afraid you don't have a very good history of doing good deeds. And you have not been friendly to your fellow man, brethren.”

   “It’s the way of the world, God. How can you expect me to be friendly when my next door neighbour sleeps with my wife?”

   “Love thy neighbour, no matter what. I told Moses on that mountain, remember? It’s all in my gift to mankind…”

   “And that would be what, exactly?” interjected Zebediah.

The Holy One smiled. “The Bible’s the gift to mankind. It’s the way to salvation. And sadly, it’s also the one famous book you’ve never bothered to read in your life.”

   “It’s too long, and has many plots and characters, God.” Zebediah honoured up. “Ok, so I’m to love my neighbour always? I thought one of the commandments was to not covet thy neighbour’s wife.”

God smiled. “You’re right there. The man will pay for that sin. If he doesn’t repent, that is.”

   “So it’s hell or heaven? You’re the man. You need to decide, God.”

They turned, and then appeared on top of a very high mountain. “Everest?” Zebediah asked.

God shook his head. “Yes, it’s what they call it on earth. This is the twin. I have another name for it. I will not tell you, though.”

   “Must be a lonely job, being God and all.” Zebediah suggested, relishing the view, and looking up at the Great Man.

God nodded. “It’s got its highs and lows, if you know what I mean. Take for instance when I destroyed the world with water. That was not one of my best memories. But it had to be done. People sometimes have to learn that I’m the boss. I created them, and they play by my rules. Adam and Eve are one of my fondest memories.”

   “Sodom and Gomorrah?”

   “Well, those cities just had to go.” God said in a matter of fact manner.

  “And Nineveh?”

God shook his head. “I had to change my mind there. The whole story is too complicated for you to understand.”  

 “So you created the whole wide world?” Zebediah suddenly asked, turning his questions around.

   “Yes, that I did. And it’s one of my most prized inventions. I hate the Big Bang

theory, but being the Almighty, I have rightfully forgiven every Jack and Jill

behind it.”

   “It’s not Jack and Jill. I think its Darwin and his foolish scientist friends.Jesus! All the..”

   “Er…thou shalt not use the Lord your God’s name in vain, remember?” God reminded sternly.

Zebediah nodded with an embarrassed smiled. “So the whole thing in just a mere seven days? How did you do it?” he said after a few seconds

God nodded. “Truly I say to you. It took me six days. No more, no less.” He

Paused. “You ask how I did it? The answer is simple, my son. I AM GOD, THE ONE WHO WAS, AND THE ONE WHO WILL ALWAYS BE.”

Zebediah asked again. “Tell me, oh God. Is everything in this world planned? Did you know I was going to be born, even before I appeared in my

mother’s womb?”

God nodded. “Precisely, son. That I know. I knew you were going to die today. I planned it exactly two million years ago. I have the records in The Book that will prove it. The world is my elaborate plan. I know what will happen, when and where. I just have to wait for things to happen when the time comes.”

   “Just like that?”

   “Yes. Just like that.” God said, clicking his fingers.

   “And the issue of free will. Where does it come in?”

God smiled. “I knew I shouldn’t have brought you here.”

Zebediah asked. “Why? Don’t answer that. Ok, so for someone like Judas, if I can ask, because this has always been on my mind.”

God smiled. “Ask away, my good child. But they say curiosity killed the cat. Not that I believe in all of that, in any case. Go on, I’m listening.”

   “If he was the one destined to betray your son, The Good Shepherd, The Christ, then would you punish him and send him to hell for planning to kill Jesus?”

   “That is a difficult one for you to understand, but again, there is nothing that is impossible for me to do. I know what you’re thinking now. I have known this conversation for a while now. In fact, I crammed it, like I do all the rest.”

   “But you’re not answering my question, sir.” Zebediah said, feeling he had not got the answer he deserved. “So you knew Hitler was going to kill people?”

   “Yes.”

   “And he….” Zebediah looked around him, but everything was blurring. He looked at God, and he was slowly drifting into the air like smoke from a burning cigar. “Wait, there’s more questions I want to ask...!”

Then something moved him, and he felt a pressure on his chest. His eyes slowly fluttered open. There was a beautiful woman looking down at him. A crowd was all around him. The beautiful woman smiled.

   “Sir, are you ok? You got knocked over by a car, and the driver ran away.” She said, looking at her watch, and smiling at him through her white teeth. “Actually, it happened some fifteen minutes a thirty-three seconds ago.” She said.

Zebediah glanced over his shoulder and smiled. Just ahead, the spire of the church he had been going to glinted in the morning sun.

***

- END-

(2008)

Mbonisi P. Ncube©